There are so many different stories, different journeys, different phases, that are a part of autism. It's true that no two people with autism are the same. And that autism is a word trying to describe a million different lives.
But it's much deeper than that. Jacob's autism at age 2 is different from his autism at age 5 and age 7. He changes and grows each day. The things that scare him now did not scare him then. The things that scared him then, do not scare him now.
For example, Officer Jacob is still very hesitant and fearful with doctor visits, although he's much more likely to cooperate now than when he was younger.
Another concept that is hard to encompass into a single word is communication. And autism and communication are so interconnected, so deeply intertwined that it's hard to understand one without understanding the other.
When Jacob was younger, he walked up to someone and handed them a cereal bar. In Jacob's mind, he was asking for help opening the cereal bar, but to this other person, it seemed like Jacob was just offering to share.
Because communication can look so different in people with autism, it's easy for their wants, needs, and feelings to get overlooked or misconstrued. It makes the smallest of things ten times more difficult. It means he might even have to get creative or innovative to communicate.
Last week, Jacob was pointing to his forearm and looking at me for some confirmation of what he was trying to tell me. After I told him that I did not understand, he used his AAC device, what we call his voice, to find the right word to convey what he wanted to say. He clicked on his button of choice, "owl", to tell me that his forearm hurt. Since he did not have the button for "Ouch", he found the next best thing, a word that is very similar sounding to get his message across. Creative problem solving at its best!
Today, Jacob woke up with an irritated eye, which got more irritated at school. We went to his pediatrician's office to check it out. Each time he visits, I think he does better and better. He even showed another boo-boo spot to the doctor.
And then, he had to visit not just one doctor's office, the office he's accustomed to, the one that does so well with him and knows what to do to help him feel at ease, but another doctor's office. An office he's never been to, a doctor he's never been to, an exam room with equipment he's not familiar with.
But he did it. He waited yet a second time today for a second doctor's visit in a second facility. And he listened to the doctor and the medical professionals. He put his hands where they said. He put his chin where they said to put it. He looked up when they said look up, and down when they said that as well.
This picture is him, waiting in the waiting room. I still remember vividly the many years of when he would just cry and scream the entire time we were anywhere near the doctor's office. He would bolt for an exit, any escape. And just look at him now. Chilling, recording the waiting room and scrolling through his pictures and videos, patiently waiting for his second doctor visit.
One of the best parts, though, is watching Jacob communicate with new people, and watching how fascinated they are with him and what he can say with his AAC device. It never fails that he only says goodbye to anyone he encounters in a doctor's office setting. He wants it done and over with. And yet, the nurse was still in awe, and Jacob walked up to her and wanted a hug. And said you're welcome to her when she said thank you.
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